teaching

There is such an interesting dichotomy here. This country is in the 21st century in relation to fashion, language, media, and commercialism. It would be easy to walk around Hangzhou and forget that China is still a third-world developing country. On the other hand, in terms of living conditions, hygiene, medical standards, and social responsibility, China is still far far behind. I look at my students in class and it would I would never guess that they live 8 to a dorm room the size of my office in buildings that have no running water or heat. They take showers outside with no hot water (what will they do in the winter, I don't know) and they collect their drinking water at night from the cafeteria. I realize these living conditions are not abnormal for third-world developing countries.......it is just bizarre to see the gap between the facade of people and cities (clothes, hair, modern stores and restaurants) and the inside of homes, cafes, and people (i.e. seems that everyone has cavities in every tooth and parasites).

I could shake my newspaper reading kids. They told me point blank yesterday, while we were talking about race relations and oppression of minority groups in America and China, that they couldn't care less about the topics. I asked them what they would like to study and they all said pop stars. The maturity level is at junior high with my juniors. They see absolutely no reason why they should care about anything besides pop culture. Individual responsibility for bettering some aspect of this world is non-existent. I want to somehow unlock that for them, help them to see what we talk about does matter. It is important to learn so mistakes aren't repeated and so one person can do what they are able to make a difference. I am particularly surprised at their inability to think outside themselves and pop stars because this is a communist country--one would think they would be more community focused. Seth keeps reminding me that my job is to teach English, not to save the world and convert my students into world-conscious people----but I feel like that is what my professors did for me. Seth says I have an exalted view of my professors and that if I didn't have the interest to begin with, it is not something my professors could have taught me. He tends to be right about most things, but I still don't agree with him. I feel responsible. A teacher's job is not only to teach the subject matter, but also to teach about being a responsible global citizen.......and Chinese teachers aren't doing it for these kids.....

pictures as of late

xiao mao

Right. I took Xiao Mao to the vet. I was planning on leaving her and coming back when the surgery was over, but they told me to sit and wait in the completely vacant examining/waiting room. Before they took her back, I asked if she was a girl or a boy. One vet said girl another said boy....I should have known then that this whole Chinese vet thing was a bad idea. They took her to the back room and a few minutes later I heard her screaming bloody murder. I jumped up and ran to the back room--they must be de-clawing her awake! By the time I got back there, her scream intensified. I am a horrible pet owner, I told myself. When I finally pushed through the crowd of assistants and vets surrounding Xiao Mao, I realized they were only clipping her claws and she was being a complete baby.....ahhhhh....though, quite glad they weren't de-clawing her awake, I still wanted to make sure they were, at some point planning on de-clawing her. When the difference between clipping claws and taking claws out was finally established, the group of Chinese vets gasped in horror at the inhuman thought of removing a cats' claws (no smart remarks Patrick)...."We don't do that in China" I was told (well, call George W. up, the Chinese have trouble with human rights, but they sure have animal rights down).
Next was her shots. I can't imagine how a parent ever lives through taking his or her child for shots. Xiao Mao had three injections in her extra-neck-skin-spot. Each time she let out the most human-like scream I have ever heard from an animal.....it was if she was getting a spinal tap. I mean, my cat at home cries when she goes to the vet, but it is just because she is scared, she barely notices the shots at all. So, this torture thing was new to me. Apparently I was overdue for an emotional break-down because I started sobbing in the examining/waiting room while all the Chinese vets watched fascinated at the crazy foreigner and her screaming cat. I eventually pulled myself and my cat together and left. I am sure I left them with the impression that all Americans have an unhealthy dependency the comfort of their pet. Unfortunately, she has follow-up shots in two weeks!!!

talons, weddings, and canes

Apparently, the rain in China falls mainly on Hangzhou. Actually, I love the rain, so no worries. It gives my world a cozy autumn feel. Unfortunately though, it also makes me tai lazy! School starts up tomorrow. Though we had the week off, we have to make up the classes this weekend. Weird beard, that is a Chinese holiday for you. I've decided to Xiao Mao to the vet (maybe today if the rain lets up). She/he needs his/her shots and, furthermore, she is causing complete disasters on my blue fake-leather couch. Personally, I could care less, but I am fairly sure there is something in my contract about not destroying my furniture. So, I am afraid she will by talon-less soon. I hate to do that to her/him, especially in China. I mean I would never submit my child to surgery in China......who knows if they will even put her/him to sleep.........but, fortunately, Xiao Mao is my cat, not my child.....so......farewell talons............... Seth made the call to the vet for me. It was a rather hilarious event ("claw" isn't exactly something you learn in basic Chinese) he paced my living room saying "zhao" over and over in different tones, the whole time making claws with his hands as if the woman on the phone could see.....I think he finally got the message across. I suppose we will see.
There are some other teachers visiting us for the week from a little town (by little town I mean only 1.5 million) about 3 hours from Hangzhou. They have been rather blown away by the convenience of Hangzhou. Watching their awe has helped to remind me how really lucky I am to live in this city, though I complain like a broken record, it really is a great place to live......there is an ancient Chinese poem..."Above there is heaven, below there is Hangzhou and Suzhou..." so I'm pretty lucky. Yesterday, Mary (one of the the teacher's that works here daughter) and I took one of the Winling teacher's for lamb kebabs and Muslim onion flatbread. On the way home, a bent old woman with a cane blocked our path, begging for money. We made to go passed her and she straightened up and began running after us with her cane raised trying to intercept our path. We laughed about that one for awhile...we'd never seen such a miracle.
Happy birthday week to ANDY Wommack (22) and happy wedding week to KRISTIN Stonebraker and BRIAN Gillenwater....I wish I could be a present bridesmaid rather than absentee

happy national day-week

The days I love this city sneak up on me. Autumn has decided to bless our little town of 6 million. I saw my first changing leaves today. A typhoon is sweeping the coast, giving the air a damp delicious chill (I am actually wearing jeans and long sleeves!!). I went on absolutely divine walk in the rain and treated myself to a lunch of my favorite street-food (um, I am addicted) barrel-roasted sweet potatoes, Muslim flat-bread with onions and sweet milk tea. Walking down the street, I could smell chestnuts roasting and sugar crystallizing, I could almost imagine I was home. No, curled up on the couch with two dear friends (coffee and The O.C.) I am truly enjoying my holiday!

changes

I am not going to Japan. I got was on my way there but I had some complicated transportation issues (sus and sarah, think haggis tour slip-up or Matt, think London-Amsterdam bus miscalculation...) and never ended up getting out of the country. I read a book a few weeks ago about a Hispanic adult living in the US. An observation was made that moving to a different country causes one to become a child again. I am beginning to think it is true. I can't read or write here. I understand little, and can't really do anything sucessful without help. For the most part, it is very necessary for a Chinese person to be holding my hand.
Luckily, this country is full of willing helpers. For the most part Chinese are eager to help foreigners in any way they can. Though I am disappointed about my silliness, I have determined to spend my week studing Chinese so I might be a little less childlike in the future and also to do some art projects, something that has been sorely missing in my life since I moved here.

because I have to get my kicks somewhere

This is my sister. Not only is she special because she is remembering the Alamo, but she has also sprouted a Texas flag from her scalp thanks to the tropical Waco environment. I must say, the pictures on my computer provide me with more entertainment than I ever would have guessed. (so don't be surprised to see yourself on here some day!). Sorry for the last depressing blog, I think my influx of completely devastating movies in the past few weeks has rather affected my usually sunny personality (that was irony). I am tackling each moment with a determinant to be comfortable in the completely unknown of the future and to enjoy my time here. It really isn't too hard. My kids are wonderful, I think I laugh more during class than I teach--I never know what is going to come out of their mouths--the food is divine, and it is exciting to being comprehending a language! Furthermore, I have actually been receiving the mail that has been sent to me. I believe I declared last blog that I couldn't remember my last hug, I realized lately I am so silly and forgetful. Remember Auntie Yang (the gatekeeper with the rooster in her bike basket?) I can't understand a word she says to me for the most part (for some reason, her Chinese is particularly incomprehensible) but she checks on me every few days and fiercely hugs the life out of me before she leaves. I have no clue where she picked up this habit (it is uncommon to hug in this culture) I think she must know that foreigners need it!
This weekend, some of other teachers and I are going to Suzhou--a city known as the Venice of the East. We are quite excited to spend a little time outside Hangzhou. Perhaps I will have some more exciting mis-adventures to relay soon!

I want to bang my head on the table and sing "sometimes I feel like a motherless child"

Some days I love China. Some days I absolutely hate it. Today, I hate it. It is an all-consuming, passionate, frustrated hate. It sort of blocks out any rational thoughts. Laura Mims, a teacher who taught in my province last year, told me before she went home, that each day's outcome drastically depends upon one's attitude--I know this is true, but even my most valiant efforts toward positive thinking fizzle before lunch-time. Things are challenging here, but sometimes I don't want the challenge, I crave familiarity. I crave touch---affection touch. I am surrounded by 4 million of my closest friends all day long practically standing on top of me but all I want is a hug (aren't you proud Susie?), or a hand, or just to lounge next to a friend (oh for the days of the red couch or The OC and Happy Tracks marathons).

On the lighter side, a very very very happy birthday week to Anne Caldwell (23) and Erin Burroughs (8)!! I miss you!!

Happy mid-autumn festival!!!!! (it is today!)

I know Katie, Emily and Patrick all think they have the cutest, best cat in the world.....I hate to disappoint them and steal the glory---but I am fairly sure my new kitten (Xiao Mao) is the cutest, sweetest, funnest cat in the world. I mean, look at her wee little face. How can you not agree?????

sorry its been so long since I posted. I am not dead (though I did spend about 2 hours in the police station the other day over some visa issues and I started to think I may never again see the light of day). Teaching is going well, my freshmen are even more hysterical than my juniors, and I am sure they think I am from a different planet (I am a little weird sometimes, believe it or not). The good news is, I now have internet and drinking water (and a cat) in my apartment. My living standard has improved rather well.

better late than never


oi! internet in my apartment! these are some pics from Tibet, sorry they are so late.......

well blow me over

I could view my blog today for the first time in China. Honestly, I wonder when I will stop being surprised by the shear randomness of this country. Anyway, I thought you might think it was interesting. I am using Seth's (another teacher) computer in his apartment from last year. This gives me hope that whenever I get the internet in my own apartment, it might let me see my blog too and then we can all go back to posting! (but i am not getting tooooo hopeful). I found out yesterday that the freshmen don't come until next week so I have the rest of my week off. I think I am going to do some road-tripping out to Quzhou and Suzhou or Shanghai. I'll catch up with you again soon. (you can still call me if you miss me :)

if you weren't inspired by the orphanage pictures....

this is a copy the email and some pictures Zheng Si Si sent me today....... once again, if you want to help, or know anyone ele who would be interested, just shoot me an email!

i visited two families in Tibet Dangxiong county, above 4000m, near namchu lake. One family father died, and 4 children, older brother takes care of animals with his mother, and older sister study in mainland high middle school, in Jiangsu province near Zhejiang. 1900yuan rmb a year. she had no money so in her 4years study in middle school, she only visited home once, and the trip was finaniced by others. in picture is the young sister, now in primary school. a young brother also in school now. they are one of the most poor families among locals though most local families are very poor, it is a hard place to survive. Another family is a very big family, with a lot of children, also an infant in tent. these children are not healthy, because of poor nutrition. the man with glasses in pic is a local doctor. he is a very very nice doctor. he worked in a county hospital, and volunteered to work in this hard country area, 4yrs, i asked why, his explain, these farmers when to county hospital, their illness already too late to be cured, country lack doctors. his wife still in county hospital, is a nurse, and support him very much, they have no child. he is also a poet. he is well admired by the local people, i can feel when i was with him

just another day in china

I moved today. I feel guilty moving from a perfectly fine home to an even nicer home. I am grateful for what the school has given me, but it just doesn't seem right that I ought to be living in the lap of luxury when the other teachers on staff, the students, and the rest of the college community are living at a sub-standard level. I want my house to be a place people can always come visit, but I am ashamed of its niceness and don't want Chinese to come over....it would be like saying "hey, why don't you come over to my place so you can see all the nice shit I have that you won't ever be able to have, even though you are a hard worker, because i am an American and you are not." Argh.

I can't believe what I am seeing on the news about the aftermath of hurricane Katrina. I know the subject has probably been beat to death in America, but here we've only been getting a bit of news about it. I know people are the same everywhere, but it just seems that the anarchy that is going on should be happening in another country or another era. It is strange to read about how everything has been turned on its head in New Orleans. It is truly unbelievable and dreadful.

I went to the hospital the other day. No worries, I am fine, a Chinese friend was just helping me to a prescription for meds I take in America, so I can buy them here. First, though, I had to be examined. Like a regular hospital there are examining rooms, but when you get there, you take a number and wait outside the door. When it was finally my turn I went in. I hadn't been in the examine room for more than 2 minutes before the door opened and some Chinese people that were waiting for there number to come up shuffled in . Then a few more people, and then more, and more, and finally half the nation of China was standing in my examine room to see what was wrong with the foreigner sitting on the examine table.It was like a play in which the starring characters (the doctor and I) have speaking roles, and then there is the chorus that speaks in one voice. The doctor continued the examination taking no mind to the 20-plus people in the room with us. He knew a little English so he would ask me a question, make a note, and then turn to translate for the group. In unison the group would then respond to the answer with "OOOHHH," or AHHHHH and the like. He started asking what the medicines I was taking were for. I answered grudgingly and then he turned and told the curious group "Oho!" they responded. By the time I left the hospital, I am quite sure that everyone there knew the exact details of my medical file. Ah, well.....just another day in China.

I start teaching tomorrow. I got the textbooks this afternoon. I have a three hour class on "selected newspaper readings" and then later in the week will have my oral English classes. I am very nervous, but I am looking forward to getting started. Too much time in idleness causes one to become a little self-involved--I am reading to be a little others-involved.

recipe help

Whenever I get around to moving, my Chinese friends want me to have a housewarming party and they want me to cook American food. That is all fine and good, but for the life of me I can't think what to cook for a group of about 10 people. It can't contain meat, pasta, tomato sauce, or cheese (because I don't eat meat and there isn't any pasta, sauce, or cheese here) and can't bake anything (because I don't have an oven). So, if you have any suggestions, I am desperate. Thanks.
p.s. I am feeling guilty b/c my sister sent me her blog today (see the link brennan homiak's blog on the sidebar) and it is so full of wisdom and self-examination etc, I am sorry my blog has nothing of this sort to offer!(but it does have rooster stories!)

have you ever tried to buy a slip in this godforsaken city???????????

I met with my Chinese friend Su Jian yesterday. For those of you who have been following my life for more than this blog, you might know that he is my former Chinese crush. Yes, I said former Chinese crush. Though he is the only Chinese person I have ever been attracted to, and he is amazing and wonderful and pushed my bike for two hours so I didn't have to, he is former. As much as it pains me to say it, his girlfriend is moving to Hangzhou next month and he is planning to ask her to marry him so I've decided that I can no longer pretend she doesn't exist. *sigh* But aside from that crushing (no pun intended) news, I had a wonderful time with him. Yesterday was the best day I've had since I came here. Su Jian's English is such that we can branch out into various topics w/o being fettered by a vocabulary barrier. I felt like I was with a friend from back home. I can only explain it as being relaxed in conversation. Most of the time when I am conversing with folks here, I am very tense, thinking of what I will say next, how I will say it in a way that they can understand me, and what we can talk about that they have the English vocabulary for. It was a welcome change! Somehow I shall manage to beat down my undying love for him and settle for friendship.

So the official moving day is here, and in Chinese fashion, there is no moving going on whatsoever. Furthermore, naturally, no one has a clue when or where we might be moving for real. School starts in three days and we have no rosters, no classroom assignments, no textbooks or daily class schedule (i.e. what time the classes begin and end). Ha. This place is a trip. I am not sure I will ever get over my bafflement at Chinese logic.

Also, I would like to announce that the winner of the "Who-responds-the-most-to-Cammie's-blogs" contest is........drum roll please........Corrine (Cream) Cooper!!!!!!1 Now, I know those of you that didn't win will protest that you didn't know there was a contest going on.......I kept it a secret so I could see how you acted naturally, without the impetus of a contest.

clarifications

protests on the contest already!!! just clarifying there wasn't really a contest and I do love everyone equally whether they respond or not. Furthermore, while I think Su Jian is great I might have gotten a little dramatic and carried away in my last blog. I am not as heartbroken as I made myself out to be. But it is true that I haven't manage to find a slip in this whole city. No exaggeration there. Honestly people, can't you recognize good sarcastic, dramatic humor anymore?????????????

it's true

I am sure some of you have heard the rumor by now, and though I hate to admit it publicly, it is true--my bike was stolen. Now, before everyone gets rilled up at the audacity of a Chinese person so come on my campus, track down my bike and break the lock to carry it off--first hear this: I left my keys in the lock. Oh, I would love to say it isn't true--that some barbaric thief took off with it in the night, but the truth is I was practically begging someone to take my bike in broad daylight. I had just come back from the open market selling fruits and vegetables, feeling particularly proud of myself for conquering my fear of bargaining for produce, when I found my bike was missing. Appalled that someone would go to all the trouble to break the lock for my measly little bike, I frantically put down my armloads of produce and began dumping out my bag. My keys were 100% absent. On top of this, the same key chain that held my bike key also held the keys to my apartment building gate and my apartment door key. I realized that not only did I have no bike, I also had no way of getting into my building, and furthermore someone had my keys that had been so cleverly marked with my building and apartment number. The chances of me being murdered in my sleep had just escalated. I was sitting on the curb, surrounded by produce and the contents of my bag, wondering what to do next, when our gatekeeper Auntie Yang came cycling by. She saw me and came over. Despite the fact that she understands no English, I managed to convey to her that my bike was gone. She called some security guards over and everybody discussed it for a long time. I had no way of explaining to them in Chinese that my house key had also been taken. Finally a grad. student noticed the commotion and came over. She spoke a little English, so I told her I had left my keys in the bike and now that the bike was gone so was my house key. She nodded and explained this to Auntie Yang who responded. This girl turned back and replied "She says your bike is gone because you left your keys in it." "Yes, I know!" I cried "That is not the point, my house key is gone, I can't get into my apartment." "Oh" she said and translated. "Auntie Yang says next time you shouldn't leave your key in your bike, otherwise someone will take it." Ahgrr. I tried explaining myself again and she translated. "Auntie Yang says your bike is gone, you shouldn't worry about looking for it, someone has taken it because you left your key in it." I was almost to the point of tears (as you might remember from the post entitled "the day i spent a week in the gobi desert" it doesn't take much to bring me to tears) not only did I not need to be reminded one more time that I had been really ridiculously stupid by forgetting to take my keys out of the lock, but also I was standing in a sea of fruit and vegetables and my emptied-out bag and all I wanted to do was get into my apartment. During all of this conversation and translation, I realized the shopping bag in the front basket of Auntie Yang's bike was making noises and moving. Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I leaned over to peek in the shopping bag, and there was a rooster. A rooster, of all things to carry in your bike basket. The conversation stopped momentarily and the grad. student translated for Auntie Yang who was now making clucking noises "It is a chicken." Obviously they assumed anyone silly enough to leave their keys in their lock would also, naturally, be unable to identify farm animals. Finally, at some point, it clicked (or clucked) and Auntie Yang realized I didn't have my house keys. Next came a tirade of what pretty much ended up to be "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place!" And we set off to remedy the problem. Luckily, I am moving tomorrow and can stop laying awake wondering if the person that has my key is going to drop in unexpectedly.

p.s. please excuse any errors in the post as I am typing on a computer that's keyboard is completely void of letters due to a massive amount of wear on the keys. For the most part I know where all the letters should be, but sometime I mistype and can't find the right letter!

feeling helpful?

These pictures were taken by my Chinese friend Zheng Si Si while she was in Lhasa. She visited Dickey Orphanage (Dickey means happiness in Tibetan) where a Tibetan woman who owned a teahouse decided to start an orphanage for Tibetan children in 1991. In the past 14 years the number of orphans she supports has swelled from 12 to 81. Unlike most orphanages in China, the Dickey Orphanage is privately owned, so despite their poverty, the owner works hard to make sure these children get an education and experience a loving environment. Zheng Si Si said she was surprised by how joyful and outgoing the children were as a result of their caring upbringing. These orphans are still supported only through the money the teahouse (also pictured with the blue sign: The Snowland Happiness Teahouse) brings in which around 200 kuai a day, or about 25 dollars. Otherwise, it relies on the donations of Tibetans, Chinese and foreigners. Upon her return to Hangzhou, Zheng Si Si has been working to drum up donations of clothing and money for these children. I thought I would mention it to my faithful blog-readers, in case anyone feels like helping out or knows anyone that would like to help out. So, if you are interested in helping, or know someone who is interested in helping (maybe a great cause for a hall activity, sorority, fraternity, church group or any other helpful organization or individual) please let me know (via email or phone, not posting, please). I also have some more pictures of the orphanage, teahouse and individual children if you are interested.

don't you know the piggers??

Wei ni hao. Nothing much new here. Yesterday, a new friend, Bao He Jun took me out on the grand tour of Hangzhou. We visited the city centre square, some shopping districts and West Lake. We ventured out on a fishing boat to visit the islands that dot the lake (one island is called "three pools mirroring the moon" now that is romantic) It was great to spend a day out practicing my Chinese (did I mention that I've had my first lesson with a tutor......I need some serious practice). Bao He Jun also taught me how to work my rice cooker (minus the rice b/c I didn't have any in the apartment, but I think I got the general idea). Futhermore, I have been reminded by a good friend that there is little point in planning a formula for balancing Chinese and American life--I just should passionately act, live, and love and somehow things will fall into place in their own time and in their own way. So, I'll be trying that, rather than worring about everything!

i'm not creative enough to think of a title right now

I had the most amazing wake-up call this morning. My parents decided to have a little party with veggie pizza (ah, my favorite) and chocolate and invite some friends (my friends) over to call me. I was too suprised! Aren't they great parents and friends? Yes, the are. So I spent several hours this morning talking to my Aunt Jane, Susan Tharp, Corrine, Christy, Emily and my mom and dad. It was absolutely the best morning a person could ever have. I was afraid when everyone hung up that I would be a wee bit depressed, but I was actually inspired and I ventured out to explore this crazy place on my bike. Unfortunately I am a little dangerous on my bike, but I managed to stay alive. The sidewalks here are not just for people walking--they are for people, bikes, pets, farm animals, mopeds, vendors, cars, taxis and the occasional bus--sometimes I think the street is safer than sidewalk! In the long run, I did cause one small bicycle accident--but it actually wasn't on account of my horrible cycling techniques--someone just decided to stop watching where they were going to turn around and stare at the foreigner riding a bike (what?????? white people can ride bikes too???????) and there for ran smack into some man intersecting her path. Ha. Now she knows that staring at foreigners is not productive. But, in my cycling I discovered the bamboo forest, which is exactly what is sounds like, and the shortest route to West Lake (the site that makes Hangzhou famous).
I am having a problem for which I would love some helpful advice. I am having trouble trying to balance my life here with my life in America. It seems that I want to find things here, food, music, friends, housing appliances that mimic my life at home. I want to email, blog, write letters, and talk on the phone with my community at home b/c I still want to be a part of that life. But, I am in China. I haven't come all this way just to duplicate my life at home as closely as possible. But, at the same time, I can't just start a new Chinese life--I'm not strong enough and the people at home are too important. So, where does that leave me? In a dither of dichotomous tension--I need balance, but I am having trouble finding it! Suggestions and monetary gifts are welcome.