Don't tell my mom I went to Burma........

I went to Burma this weekend. One of my life-time goals has been to go to Burma. I may have only spent about 15 minutes there--but I was definitely there. Jane and I left Phuket for Bangkok and then took a night train to Chiang Mai. Jane has friends that are church planters in Chiang Mai who have been working with Hmong (sounds like "mung") minority people about six hours southwest of Chiang Mai. After a quick shower we piled into three trucks and took the long journey through the mountains to Mae Sot. It we spent three days in the tiny village that the government has set up for Burmese refugees.

The village was having its church-opening ceremony and a Hmong wedding. I loved it because we traveled with Hmong, Thai and Laotian students from Chiang Mai to Mae Sot and once we were there, they helped us meet the villagers and tour the village. The village (called "village 9) is located about 2 kilometers from the Burma boarder and you can see the majestic Burmese mountains towering in the not-so-far distance. It is saturated with Burmese, Hmong and Karen people who have fled the terror of the "State Peace and Development Council" ruling party. On Saturday, I piled in the back of a pick-up truck with 15 other Hmong and Thai students and we headed to the amazing waterfalls in surrounding mountains. We spend the day wading through the cold water, splashing each other and climbing the falls. (Thankfully, a 12 year-old Hmong girl attached herself to me and saved me from tumbling down the rocky falls to my watery grave multiple times.) Saturday, I also went to Burma with two other Americans who needed to renew their visas by re-entering the country.

On the day of the ceremonies, the village men slaughtered to cows for the communal lunch (I refrained), and over 400 people gathered to witness the goings-on. It was an absurdly wonderful trip, but also sickeningly difficult. It is hard for me to imagine the terror and suffering under which these people must have lived in Burma, their courage to slip over the boarder, and now the hardships which they deal with in their village (horrible water sources, rampant disease, exposure to the elements, discrimination by the Thai government...) We held a 2 hour "clinic" in the afternoon. Seeing villagers with health problems. There is a nurse from America who has also been working closely with Village 9. It just seemed so ridiculous. Malnourished children being giving 10 multivitamins. Women with wrists swollen with arthritis being given 5 Tylenol. The people here are doing everything in their power to relieve what suffering they can, but the options are so limited and temporary. Just a band-aid on a deep, festering wound. I am so overwhelmed with the futility of humanitarian efforts that I could scream....or just take a nap.

I was further frustrated by the ingrained sexism in the village. I don't know what my problem is. I consider myself an open-minded person...but when I see others' differences that I don't agree with I get so angry. So so angry. In Thailand men have a higher status, but in the village, the breach in status between women and men is extraordinary. Men get to sit while women stand. Men eat first always while women watch. Men are permitted to have multiple wives. I don't know if I feel frustrated because I am a women and therefore feel sympathetic, but if you could just see how hard these women work in these villages. Perhaps they marry at 16 or 17 and start having children right off (no birth control of course) until they have 8-10 children. They will carry one on their back, one on their front, one on their hip and have the hand of another. In this position,they will assist their husbands in the fields, be responsible for the sewing, cooking and cleaning as well as their millions of children. I am not saying the men don't work hard. I just feel frustrated that these amazingly capable, intelligent and gentle women see themselves as second-class...their value only seated in their childbearing capabilities.....I could just dig a hole and climb down in it--frustrated with people and myself; I don't know where the line is between tolerant and taking a moral stand.

check out http://www.infoplease.com/ipa/A0107808.html for little summary-roo of Burma's government and geo-political relations

Happy Birthday Dad!!!!

Thursday, January 26, 2006
Back from the beautiful ocean. It would of course rain our first day in a resort town (when I went to Santorini, it snowed for the first time in 15 years) I suppose that is what makes my travels unconventional. Aside from the rain, I still got a sunburn, which I am loving in January and also got a lot of time to relax, read, and listen to music on the beach. I certainly can't complain!! I also learned a lot more about the destruction and terror during the tsunami. Due to my overdeveloped sense of motherness to the world's children, I spent much of the grieving for the children and families I didn't even know that must have suffered so much, I just can't imagine being responsible for a child in that situation, and being unable to hold on. I was glad to see that so much had improved in the past year (homes, business etc) but I know that in Pakistan, and even New Orleans, people are still suffering silently from natural disasters now that the media spotlight has shifted. It seems like such a hopeless situation.

The last few days in Bangkok have been wonderful! This country is nicknamed the "Land of the Smile." It is incredibly true....moving from a country where people are often kind but intimidating or avoiding to a place where the street sweeper looks up at you with a brimming smile has been a welcomed changed. Ying has taken us everywhere from night bazaars to floating markets, temples and galleries to the red light districts. We have taken ferries, tuk-tuks, taxis, motorcycles and the subway. The food is AMAZING. Tomorrow, Jane and I are going to the resort city of Phuket to see where some of the aid from her church went during the tsunami. I am excited to see a new part of the country and maybe some beach and margaritas!

I leave tomorrow to begin my Spring Festival holiday travel. I will be going with another teacher, Jane. We plan to go to Guilin/China, Bangkok, Phuket and Chiang Mai/Thailand, Phnom Penh and Siem Reap/Cambodia, Singapore and Hong Kong. There is no chance of me being prepared before I leave, so I thought I might as well post. I hope when I come home from this journey, I have some sort of clarity about what I should do for next year.
There is a canal that runs in front of my apartment. Between the canal and my building is a small park running the length of the canal. Every money while I put together breakfast, I can see elderly men and women doing their morning exercises along the canal: tai chi, aerobics, stretching and jogging. In the afternoon there is an old man who comes everyday--bringing his birds. He carries two large black birds in separate cages. He stops at a small pavilion directly in front of my door and settles. He begins to methodically clean the birds cages; unfastening the bottom and placing the open-bottomed cages on the grass so the birds might hop about and explore through the grass. He cleans the bottom of the cage off in the canal and talks quietly to his birds while he waits for them to dry. The whole process takes about three hours. I think he must love those birds so much. It is strange, I don't even like birds, but it is one of my favorite parts of the day to see him so carefully taking care of the little creatures.
I hope to post while I am traveling, but I am not sure what sort of resources I will encounter. In the meantime, feel free to ponder and reflect on this sign we found in Suzhou:

"Today, was one of those days where I have that certain ache, where I'm full to the brim with love and anxiousness for my students-- where I try so hard to catch each particular pain, eagerness, fear, hope or grasping for connection, so I can flash recognition into their eyes. " My friend and fellow teacher,Jen Sullivan, wrote this on her "pieceofmyself" blog (hope you don't mind if I borrow it, Jen). I read it a couple of weeks ago and feel like I couldn't begin to express the way I feel about my students right now any better.

I had individual oral exams with each of my students this week. They are so wrapped in curiosity and earnestness--I would do anything to draw out any discouragement or unnecessary pain they have and fill the void with love and encouragement. I don't know what makes me think I have anything better to give them, but I want to (though I'd like to wring a couple of their necks first.........).

The rest of my family left today . Well, theoretically. We actually (keeping with the theme of the past three weeks) had a bus station mishap and missed the right airport bus---meaning they left one hour later during rush hour. The bus driver acted like it would be an act of the Buddha to get them there before their flight left, much less the suggested two hours before. Otherwise, they may be back. In fact, I selfishly wish they would miss their flight. I have surprised myself once again in being very sad by their departure. It isn't that I don't love them, just I just imagined I was an independent adult that needed her own space. My wee bit of an apartment has gone from 5 people to one person and a sleeping cat so briskly. I feel lonely. They say that is supposed to be good for you, feeling lonely......it just seems like I am coping with leaving home all over again. I know I will adapt eventually...I have so far.
Thanks for listening.
ps my students are fascinated with Christmas cards. If you still have the old ones people sent you this year or in other years, if you could send them to me, my students would love it. Thanks!
Cammie Brennan/building 11 apt. 102/Hangzhou Teachers College/no. 222 Wenyi Road/Hangzhou, Zhejiang/China 310012
cheers!