I`ve never been able to say that I`ve deep-fried fish sausage...

Until now. Yes, it is true. I am a fish-sausage `flying` expert. (Though I am still not sure exactly what fish sausage is.) Oka-san gave me a cooking lesson last night........I don`t think I am cut out to be a Japanese chef....or any kind of chef, for that matter. Today I had several educational experiences. This morning, while having breakfast with the Kimura family, a special came on the television about the atomic bombs dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki. Everyone at the table stopped eating and stopped talking. All eyes were on me and the television. I felt a shame that was/is overwhelming. I realize it wasn`t I who dropped the bombs, and I wasn`t even alive, but still I felt the incredible weight of responsibility for the images of burned bodies and homeless people on the screen. I didn`t want to look at any of the Kimuras. I felt the shame not only of my country destroying the hell out of other countries in the past, but also now in the future. I am fully aware that Japan attacked us first, and many people say that the　bombs were necessary to save more lives altogether, and also that there are supposedly many factors that go into the war in the middle east today, but honestly there must be another way of doing things besides burning everyone up and leaving the guilt for the future generations to carry. I don`t know. The second lesson of the day is that I truly am meant to have an Asian baby. I know most of you would be surprised there is even a question about it. I visited my J-sisters Eriko, Kayo and Sachiko today at Eriko`s house. There, she made us lunch and at last I got to hold her baby--Aoi (perhaps the cutest baby in the known universe). I almost stole her, but Eriko caught me trying to stuff Aoi in my bag and I had to abandon the steal-an-Asian-baby mission. The picture above is right before I tried to make off with her. I really think she suits me...don`t you? Actually, I`m quite sure of it. It was wonderful to see everyone again after so many years. They couldn`t get over that I was no longer 8 years old and I loved seeing what amazing adults, parents and spouses they had become. MMM, a good day!

yo yo yo.

Thank you to all of those who have filled my inbox with messages of undying friendship and love (and to those of you who haven`t...WHAT`S WRONG WITH YOU?)...just kidding....... I am trying to stay very busy. I have visited the sea, Disneyland, had a lesson in urban bicycle riding (`stay to the left, Cammie-chan, left!!`), and done some shopping to quench my obsession with Japanese pop-fashion (love it!) A funny story that some might enjoy. To any of you who have known me longer than 5 minutes, you`ve probably seen me sleep (it`s my favorite pasttime). If so, you are aware that I spasm in my sleep like someone who is having electro-shock therapy. Last night, in the crowded Tokyo subway, on the way home from the sea, I fell asleep on Oka-san`s shoulder. When I awoke about an hour later, Makiko and Oka-san could hardly contain their laughter. Apparently, for the past hour I had been practically spasming constantly, shocking not only Oka-san and Makiko, but also everyone else in the subway car. If being the only foreigner wasn`t enough, the spasming drew a crowd around us with everyone staring to see what the foreigner was going to do next. Ah well, that will teach me to fall asleep in public places. No deep or profound revelations to share, sorry about that. In liu of such deep thoughts.....http://engrish.com/recent_detail.php?imagename=god-tshirt.jpg&category=Clothing&date=2005-07-25 ....perhaps this is deep enough. Enjoy the picture of my J-brother and sister cooking the Mac and Cheese I brought!

konichiwa

I have arrived. After 26 hours, I came to my Japanese home complete with my `twin sister` Makiko, my Oka-san and Oto-san, Yoko and Michiro. After I left Tuesday morning, everything hit me. All those times of no-feeling suddenly attacked me full-force. I completely freaked out on the plane--crying so hard that I couldn`t breathe (I am sure the woman next to me thought I was a nut-case). Getting to Chicago all I wanted to do was find a return flight to KC. I couldn`t believe what I was doing. Not just going to China for a year, but maybe for a lifetime. It really really scared me to think of leaving the community that I loved so much in KC. Once I arrived, however, the brilliant spirits of Oka-san and Makiko revived me. I was honestly cracking up from the minute I stepped out of customs until I went to bed last night. I am still feeling very very unsure about what the future holds for me right now, but I am trying to look at one day at a time. I want to enjoy Japan to its fullest. Peace.

Whoa.

As I promised......the packing is going well. The past two weeks have been a brilliant mosaic of people that I love. I think people should go out of town more often. It puts a sense of urgency to fill every moment with meaning and memories. Furthermore, it allows a time of "giddy freedom," providing a period of grace in which one may act without facing the consequences--at least for a year. I rather like it. So, I leave tomorrow morning. I still have a million people to see, several thank-you cards to write, and, most importantly, two discs left in the first season of The OC to watch.

katie and chris, this one is for you! 

Well, this is a first. I've never blogged before. It seems if you are throwing your thoughts out into the world wide web, they ought to be something extraordinary. Let's state a disclaimer now: there will be very few insightful or profound thoughts going on here. I started this blog because I'm leaving the country in two weeks and 1 day (a departure I am completely unprepared for, materially, mentally, or physically, but that doesn't seem to slow the approaching date...). I figure blogging is a better way to stay in communication with my community rather than bothersome mass-emails. I'll keep you updated on the packing yo.