the neys have it, I am not a yogi

I am back home. Home. So strange to call this place home. While I was gone, I missed it terribly. Of course it was brilliant to be away, but coming home was good (minus the dishes that I found molded in the kitchen sink...). I remember that was the first time I loved Jewell after hating it for over a semester. I went to a get together of some of my high school friends, and I counted the minutes until I could go back to Jewell.
Soon I have a yoga lesson. I have been going with Zheng Si Si lately. Which reminds me, I never told the story of my first class. We were late coming in. The class participants all stopped in their various contorted positions to stare at the foreigner (not to mention I was by far the youngest). As we slipped mats into the back row, I quickly realized I was at a disadvantage. Being in the back, I couldn't see the instructor and of course couldn't understand her. Soon, her assistant noticed the floundering foreigner in the back row and came back to put my body in the positions. The problem lay in the fact that, while I knew what positions my body should be in, I hadn't stretched for ages and all of my muscles protested loudly at the thought. The assistant, however, thought I just had no clue what I was supposed to do, so she took it upon herself to force my limbs into their proper place. For example "bring your knee to your nose" (while laying on our back) Well, my knee wasn't coming anywhere close to my nose so the assistant started sitting on the back of my thigh to force it down closer to my face. Unfortunately, I don't know the Chinese vocabulary for "get off of me". "Put your palms flat on the ground" instructed the teacher, once again, my finger tips touched, but my palms refused to lay flat........so the assistant tried helping me with that one too. All the while, the rest of the class is turning around fascinated at the complications going on with the foreigner in the back row. Furthermore, Niuniu (who came to watch the class) had given me a piece of candy on our way to the class. Without thinking I just put it in my bag. During class, she realized she actually wanted to eat the candy and remembered me putting it in my bag so she started rooting through the contents of my bag to find it. While I am concentrating on not punching the assistant in the face....I hear a rustling noise coming across the floor. I look up to see Niuniu, walking toward me while concentrating on getting my tampon open. She comes over, asking me to open it so she can eat it. (Tampons are not available in China, most Chinese don't know what one looks like). Horrified, I told her, no! it is not food, you can't eat it! My Chinese friend who had come along to help translate for me, said "can she look at it, even though it isn't food?" I tried to explain to my friend what it was, but unfortunately I don't have the Chinese vocabulary to talk about menstrual periods and she doesn't have the English vocabulary. So, finally, after some curious pantomiming (that was definitely not part of the yoga routine and was driving my assistant out of her mind) I got the message across. The look of horror that crossed my friend's face threw me into a fit of giggles which echoed around the quiet room with it's relaxing music. I have a habit of having laughing fits in completely inappropriate places at inappropriate times. I couldn't get a grip. So I laid down on my mat (my assistant finally threw up her hands and left me) until I could look Xiao Yun (my friend) in the face without losing it again.
Hopefully, this class, is more relaxing than last.

japan pics

Here are some pics from Japan, my sweet J-niece, Aoi-Chan, and my J-niece/nephew to be, Oka-san and Yoppie and I at the shrine festival with our lucky rakes (yes, I said lucky rakes) and one of some of the J-sisters together.

After　considerable delays, I finally made it to civilization. I went to Shanghai on Friday with Seth and the Hewitts. It was great, but really a shock to be in such a modern city. The trip was mostly a culinary tour. We ate Mexican, pizza, diner food and lots of coffee. While we weren`t eating, we visited the Shanghai People`s museum. On Saturday night, Seth took me to the Bund and we went to the top of the 4th tallest building in the world to have drinks. It was incredible to sit so high up, looking down on a city of 16 million. (see pictures of Shanghai from the bar and from across the river) Sunday I flew out to Osaka then Tokyo. Coming here has been like coming home....my room, my chopsticks, my sisters, everything is familiar! Everything is clean! And I can`t get over how accessible coffee is!!　　Lately, we have spent a lot of time with Eriko and Aoi-chan. I can`t believe it, she is going to have another baby! She is so brave! We also went to this amazing shrine festive in Shinjuku last night. The shrine`s grounds were packed with people buying lucky rakes to bring them fortune for the upcoming year.
Unfortunately, I heard two days ago that Anne Caldwell`s best friend died in a car accident. I never met Kristy, but I know how important she was to Anne, and I can`t imagine losing someone like Sarah or Susan...I would be devastating, I can`t imagine. I hurt for Anne and wish I could do something. It makes me never want to go far from the people I love again.

Happy Thanksgiving!

communists, I tell ya what.........

A spiritual/theological paradigm (para-dig-mm) shift occurred in college, wreaking my life permanently....I am afraid I am about to have a post-college social-philosophical paradigm shift. Yesterday, in my newspaper class, we were talking about poverty--particularly poverty in urban areas--I was encouraging my students to get angry about the mistreatment of migrant workers in the cities. They looked at me blankly. "There isn't anything we can do." They proclaimed. "Yes, yes of course there is!" I said. We argued and discussed for 40 minutes. I felt like the naive child encouraging the hardened solider to pursue utopian ideals.

After class, I talked to two students for a bit. "How can we help? What can we do about poverty?" They asked. I encouraged them to take action in small ways....writing to their government, educating their friends and family about the problem, and long for social volunteer programs that provide services. They looked back at me disappointed. "It doesn't matter if we do those things....it won't make a difference.....we can't do anything by ourselves...."

I was speaking with Jim on the way back home. And I realized the difference lays in that from birth Americans are told they can accomplish anything.........one person does matter....one person can make a difference.......but here, communism says that the group is the only thing that can make a difference.......the individual is just part of the group.....alone, nothing can be accomplished. So here we are, I think I am right, they know they are right. It is strange, for the first time, I realized it could be a lie--I don't know why I never thought about it before. Maybe one person can't really make a difference without the strength of the group. Just like theological constructions crumbling, my ideas of purpose in life.....my reasons for believing that I can do something, anything to ease the pain in life shattered.

In the midst, I felt the disappoint of not being able to fit into this society in a way that brings relief, brings love, brings meaning, brings true community. Foreigners are so limited in their ability to volunteer here....and even if I could, my language is so limited, I wouldn't be able to communicate on a level that matters. I am afraid I never will be able to.

In response to a request for more pictures......I always forget to take pictures of things, but here is one of my two babies, Niuniu and Xiao Mao and another one of my dearest friends here, Zheng Si Si, Su Jian and Wu Fang......I need Corrine or Susan here, my favorite obsessive-compulsive photographers. Life is good right now......better than last week anyway. I am getting very very excited about Japan on Sunday! Ahhh, civilization....family......cheese........

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I want to update, but I have absolutely nothing interesting to say.......any suggestions? questions? comments? By the by, I can see my blog now (for no obvious reason in particular, so feel free to post)

Halloween............

Well, the Halloween party of the century is over. About two hours before the party, I remembered that I have social anxiety, and I absolutely hate people coming over in mass expecting a good time. So, naturally, I freaked out and burned the apple crisp and just prayed for the night to be over. I think the other American teachers saw a new side of Cammie as she flipped out. In the end, after bobbing for apples, pin the little pumpkin on the big pumpkin and a game of who-can-dress-your-partner-like-a-mummy-using-toilet-paper-the-fastest, the night turned out to be a success. I am glad I had the chance to give a tiny something back to the Chinese who have helped me so incredibly the past few months. Here are some pictures.....Zheng Si Si (she was a rooster) bobbing for apples, the mummies altogether and my cat as a mummy (Wu Fang and I think we won, we were definitely the fastest mummy wrappers), a cute little mummy and my friends Zhang Dan and Yvette as cats. In other news, Ann came to Hangzhou for a day. She brought me a suitcase full of wonderful American treats (thanks to all contributors). Also, there was a small flood in my kitchen tonight as the pipe underneath the sink became unconnected. On the downside, I went wading for about an hour, on the upside, my kitchen floor has never been this clean!

By the by, thanks to dear ol' daylight savin's, for those of you in Central Standard time, we are now 14 hours apart.......just add two hours and switch the am/pm part and you've got it right............but you can call anytime!