I am coming to the end of my rapidly fraying rope, mentally, physically, spiritually and ecumenically. (can anyone name the two movies I just quoted in that one sentence????) Cambodia makes me tired. I gave blood at a children's hospital today (which was another horror show of its own inside.....remind me never to get sick outside the united states). There is a Dengue Fever Epidemic and sort of a blood crisis. A Greek girl came in shortly after me and we were chatting it up as we reclined with needles in our arms (I must say, I have never started a friendship in a blood bank before, and on top of that, when it was all over, we found out we had the same blood type......fate.......). She told me she loved Cambodia to the point of obsession; the energy of the place she said. I almost fell off the blood donating table in disbelief. Maybe it is because I am tired of traveling, or maybe I just can't deal with the country, but I will be glad to get out of here on Tuesday. Glad I came, but glad to leave.

At some point this week I told Jane, ":I have to get out of here!" The oppression, pain and poverty are suffocating, every time you go out, people are literally pulling you in a million different directions at once. I mean, I have been to Third World countries before, I currently reside in one for that matter, but I have never seen such desperation. People pleading with you to separate with your money. I felt so trapped.

Jane reminded me that that is exactly the point, poverty is trapping. And how lucky are we to be able to escape it. I just can't take it.

Furthermore, every time I open up my email box I am driven to tears by either good news or awful news from my community. I loathe being away from it. How I ever managed to find such amazing amazing people is beyond me and I hate hearing of their hard times that I can't help them with. It also hurts to miss their celebrations as well.