toilet humor

I fell in my toilet today. It all happened so fast...I am not sure if I can accurately describe what went on. Anyone who has been to my apartment (I realize that this is a small portion of the reading audience, but still a significant percentage) may have noticed that when any amount of pressure is applied to my toilet seat, it becomes a volatile flying saucer which has more than once sent "users" sailing across the restroom (the sadistic side of me loves the sounds of surprise that emanate from the bathroom when new visitors experience flight). All things come full circle though. Over time, I have learned how to perch delicately enough to remain on the stool.....but my time away must have muddied my memory. The only electrical socket in my bathroom is about 5 inches down from the ceiling above the toilet. When I want to plug in my small heater to dry my clothes in the bathroom, I have to stand on tiptoe on the toilet seat to plug it in. Unfortunately, the day before I left, there was a small electrical fire involving the socket and the said heater which mangled the rubber and metal of the plug on the heater. Though the socket was replaced, I was having trouble fitting the mangled prongs in to the socket. While in the middle of this, I shifted my weight, and the toilet seat went airborne, cruising across the bathroom striking first the kitty litter and then the cat food---sending litter, food and water flying. Somehow, I must have jumped off the seat to avoid flight, throwing the heater into the living room to avoid electrocution, but then landed, two-footed, into the toilet bowl......jamming the toes of my left foot in the crook-part of the bowl and soaking myself silly.

I do so many ridiculous things while I am alone. Its a good things no one knows about them!