it's true

I am sure some of you have heard the rumor by now, and though I hate to admit it publicly, it is true--my bike was stolen. Now, before everyone gets rilled up at the audacity of a Chinese person so come on my campus, track down my bike and break the lock to carry it off--first hear this: I left my keys in the lock. Oh, I would love to say it isn't true--that some barbaric thief took off with it in the night, but the truth is I was practically begging someone to take my bike in broad daylight. I had just come back from the open market selling fruits and vegetables, feeling particularly proud of myself for conquering my fear of bargaining for produce, when I found my bike was missing. Appalled that someone would go to all the trouble to break the lock for my measly little bike, I frantically put down my armloads of produce and began dumping out my bag. My keys were 100% absent. On top of this, the same key chain that held my bike key also held the keys to my apartment building gate and my apartment door key. I realized that not only did I have no bike, I also had no way of getting into my building, and furthermore someone had my keys that had been so cleverly marked with my building and apartment number. The chances of me being murdered in my sleep had just escalated. I was sitting on the curb, surrounded by produce and the contents of my bag, wondering what to do next, when our gatekeeper Auntie Yang came cycling by. She saw me and came over. Despite the fact that she understands no English, I managed to convey to her that my bike was gone. She called some security guards over and everybody discussed it for a long time. I had no way of explaining to them in Chinese that my house key had also been taken. Finally a grad. student noticed the commotion and came over. She spoke a little English, so I told her I had left my keys in the bike and now that the bike was gone so was my house key. She nodded and explained this to Auntie Yang who responded. This girl turned back and replied "She says your bike is gone because you left your keys in it." "Yes, I know!" I cried "That is not the point, my house key is gone, I can't get into my apartment." "Oh" she said and translated. "Auntie Yang says next time you shouldn't leave your key in your bike, otherwise someone will take it." Ahgrr. I tried explaining myself again and she translated. "Auntie Yang says your bike is gone, you shouldn't worry about looking for it, someone has taken it because you left your key in it." I was almost to the point of tears (as you might remember from the post entitled "the day i spent a week in the gobi desert" it doesn't take much to bring me to tears) not only did I not need to be reminded one more time that I had been really ridiculously stupid by forgetting to take my keys out of the lock, but also I was standing in a sea of fruit and vegetables and my emptied-out bag and all I wanted to do was get into my apartment. During all of this conversation and translation, I realized the shopping bag in the front basket of Auntie Yang's bike was making noises and moving. Finally, curiosity got the best of me and I leaned over to peek in the shopping bag, and there was a rooster. A rooster, of all things to carry in your bike basket. The conversation stopped momentarily and the grad. student translated for Auntie Yang who was now making clucking noises "It is a chicken." Obviously they assumed anyone silly enough to leave their keys in their lock would also, naturally, be unable to identify farm animals. Finally, at some point, it clicked (or clucked) and Auntie Yang realized I didn't have my house keys. Next came a tirade of what pretty much ended up to be "Why didn't you tell me that in the first place!" And we set off to remedy the problem. Luckily, I am moving tomorrow and can stop laying awake wondering if the person that has my key is going to drop in unexpectedly.

p.s. please excuse any errors in the post as I am typing on a computer that's keyboard is completely void of letters due to a massive amount of wear on the keys. For the most part I know where all the letters should be, but sometime I mistype and can't find the right letter!